I'm sure this story is going to get told, and told.....and told. Much to my dismay, and at the laughter of others. So, i might as well tell my own side of the story. So, here goes....
Yesterday while Nicole and i took Kai to the doctor for his much needed surgery nicole's mom took Isa out to Dutch Mothers, in Lynden, to meet a friend and have a special breakfast. Dutch Mother's is known for there bakery goods, especially there wonderfull Scone's. They are truely a work of art, and often coveted in our house, since we don't often go there, nor eat out much for that matter. Lucky for Nicole her mom splurged and brought her back a special surprise.
While i was out picking up some groceries and Kai's after surgery perscription, Isa and Mema (grandma) dropped by to check on Kai and drop Nicole's special treat, the Scone, off on there way down to Laconner for the afternoon.
In the mean time i arrived home and unloaded grocies, and proceded to do a few more errands around town. Finally around 3:30 i decided to clean the kitchen and get things in order for dinner.
That's when it happened. In my cleaning of the kitchen i found this partially wrapped "object" that looked like somekind of an odd bisquit with a sausage patty protruding from the edge's (unbeknownst to me this was a rasberry filled scone with just the edges nibble on....nicole was savoring evey bite)......This odd looking bisiqiut was also right next to a Mcdonalds cup, hence my thoughts of some leftover breakfast type of sandwich. There also happened to be a couple flys buzzing around it. So, i grabed it and chucked it in the trash.......if, i only knew what i had done!
Dinner came and went, baths with the kids were done, and bed time was shortly upon all of us. I had just setteled onto the couch in my favorite spot, and had found one of my favorite shows "River Monsters" was on, and it was a new one i'd never seen. It was about Parhana's, i was just getting deeply sucked in as they show a dead fish on shore, half eaten, and a few small maggot's crawling on it (this will make more sense shortly).
At just that time Nicole and here Mom mentioned the word desert, and i was gently sucked back to reality with the thought's of something sweet to cure my sweat tooth! Trudy mentioned pie, and Nicole said na, she rather finish her SCONE. I just heard pie, and my mouth was watering like pooh bear looking at his honey pot!
Nicole went to the kitchen and shortly returned asking what i'd done with the Scone. She thought i'd eaten it, and i should have agreed.....but, NOOOOOO......i knew i was in trouble for ridding the house of the treasured scone, and panic instantly set it. I had to cover my tracks and come up with a GREAT story....and quick.....!!!!
What came out of my mouth next is a story that even I can't believe i came up with. Without missing a beat I imediatly claimed that i had found the scone in the kitchen and it was covered with flys, and that maggot's were crawling on it! It came out so quick and with so little thought i knew i was screwed from the start, but once started i knew i had no choice but to go with it....
The look on both Nicole's and Trudy's face was both awwww and disbelief. The both instantly quipped back that they didn't believe me, and that i was basicly full of SHIT. I was realing, i needed some credit to my story.....and i needed some fast.......as only a husbands brain can think, i instantly came to the conclusion that they only way to make this story believeable was to produce a maggot....and if at all possible.....inside the scone!!!!! Ya, that was it....that's what i had to do (this all came to light in a split second, you all know how fast a man's brain can think when needed!)......so i blurted out that i could prove this, and hurried myself out the door...to the saftey of the outside, where i could finalize my plan, and make my story believable......
Once outside, i pannicked...yep, so much for being calm! I ran to the alley, to find the garbage can.....empty! It was garbage day, and everything had been picked up! Just when i was about to admit defeat and return to the house to face the music i spyed a small pice of pizza crust, and a dead maggot laying next to the garbage can, in the gravel.....as a last resort my small brain concluded that the Pizza crust kind of looked like a small piece of scone, and well the maggot, even though dead, would be believable in intself.....i glimmer of hope filled my eyes ( or was that tears holding back the possible wretching for doing something this disgusting) as i scraped up the maggot with a stick and placed it oh so gently on top of the crust and rubbed my hands in a little dirt to make it look like i'd dug through the garbage to prove my point ....
I made a bold entrance back inside the house, holding my prize and showing both Trudy and Nicole what i'd found as evidence. My conclusion that the maggot would be the focus was entirely wrong as they both pointed out instantly that i was holding a piece of pizza crust, and that the maggot had been dead for quite some time. I was busted.........
For the next 20 min. I tried to reaffirm my story, but it was all for not. They could see through my story like swiss cheese. They poked and proded me for the rest of the night...every time getting me to give up a little more information or contradition's in my see-though story.....and with every one of those loopholes found, they'd both giggle and laugh as only a mother and daughter can.....
So this morning as i finish up typeing this story i can't help chuckle at how silly i'd been....if only.....if only!!!
In the end it was just a Scone thrown away.
From the North where men make special trips both to the garbage and to lynden to find scone's that have been lost....but, not fogotten.
Mark...."The Iron Skillet"
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